Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
