He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
