Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
