So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
