I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
