check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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