And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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