It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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