shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
50% drunk capacity currently
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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