Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
