i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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