If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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