Ambien. No doubt about it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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