oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
