I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
