I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
