I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
