This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
