can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
