could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
porn star boner night. come get it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
