Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
