yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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