Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
