Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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