that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
