We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
