Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
