i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
