Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
