Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
