I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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