I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
