I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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