Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
