Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Is it penis luge time yet?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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