Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sober January is a disaster.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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