drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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