dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
