the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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