One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
