Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
