i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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