She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
