That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
