She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
