if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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