You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
