It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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