My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
