wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
