So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Randomize
