I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
