my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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