Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can I color on your dick again?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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